(thunder crashing)
(phonograph powers up)
(slow ragtime jazz playing)
(mechanical creaking)
(chimes tinkling)
(thunder crashes)
(vehicles passing)
(thuds, glass breaks)
(blue rodeo's "outskirts" plays)
Delta lambda chi.
¶ here on the outskirts of life... ¶
(sighs)
The lady needs a light.
¶ dreams seldom come true ¶
¶ flippin' through photographs ¶
¶ emotional holographs ¶
¶ cutouts of all the figures you might have been ¶
¶ reflections of a life ¶
¶ that you once lived ¶
¶ as the evening descends ¶
¶ you're conscious of every breath ¶
¶ and every moment is a crisis I guess... ¶
Care to dance?
No, thank you.
Come on, one little dance isn't going to hurt you.
The lady said she didn't feel like dancing.
Excuse me, I don't seem to remember
Hearing myself talking to you.
It doesn't seem to matter who you talk to, pal.
You don't seem to listen to them anyway.
Come on.
Just one little dance.
Look, I don't know who you are or what you want,
But I said I don't want to dance.
No, let me amend that.
It's not that I don't want to dance.
I don't want to dance with you.
Do you want to dance?
Love to.
¶ yeah, that's here ¶
¶ on the outskirts ¶
¶ of your life ¶
¶ ¶
(ominous music plays)
(blue rodeo's "outskirts" fades in)
¶ ...Warned you that california ¶
¶ wasn't going to be the end... ¶
Mind if I cut in?
Hey, fella, you just don't know
How to take "no" for an answer.
No, leave him alone.
Sure, I'd love to.
¶ when the whole world is ugly and strange... ¶
Is there any chance you could find
A hotel room around here? We can.
Will the honeymoon suite do?
Ooh, that'd be fine.
Just fine.
¶ ¶
(pleasurable moaning)
Woman: Oh, god...
Oh...
You feel so good.
(moaning continues)
(panting): So good.
(continues moaning)
This is crazy.
I've never experienced anything like this before.
I think I love you.
Stop.
(screams): Stop...
(screams)
(indistinct muffled shouting)
(door crashes open)
Oh, my god!
Come on! Get her!
What are you doing? Let go of her!
Come on!
Let go! He's choking her!
Get him off of her.
Micki: Oh, my god.
Ryan: Stop jiggling.
I'm just getting to the good part.
Jack? Jack: Hmm?
What do you remember about that cupid
In uncle lewis' manifest?
Ah, the cupid of malek.
Yes, I remember picking that up in cairo.
That was commissioned by one salah malek in 1453.
In Italy, in, uh, milan to be exact.
Yeah, it was said that malek was so ugly
That no woman could look at him without turning away.
That got him pretty upset.
So he, uh, vowed vengeance
On all those who denied him love.
He had the cupid cast in his own image.
(chuckles)
Why don't you try reading something
A little more challenging for a change?
Something with words.
"the man arrested
"for the brutal honeymoon suite slayings, gerald hastings,
Said he had to kill for cupid's sake."
You don't think there's any, uh...
Item number 00729,
The cupid of malek.
It says here that uncle lewis sold it to a frederick mason,
But that was over four years ago.
Wait, "m's."
Mason.
Ah!
It seems mr. Mason didn't like women either.
He killed three of them.
Was sentenced to death.
Well...
What do you think?
There's an old witches' saying:
"if it looks like a bat and it flies like a bat,
It's a bat."
Man: I can't understand it.
I know I saw the statue when we barged in.
So it was here. Yup.
Ugly little thing, too.
I know because I said to myself
It was too tacky even for a motel.
Could the cops have taken it?
I thought you were the cops.
Another division.
You were saying.
Now that I think of it,
It was gone already.
Of course, there was so much commotion.
Thank god for those college guys.
"college guys"?
Yeah, from tustin.
They were in the bar having a couple of beers.
When I heard the noise, I tried opening the door,
But it was double locked.
The next thing I know,
These guys are knocking the door down.
That's it.
I remember now.
One of them picked up the statue.
Micki: Do you have any idea
Who it was?
No, not by name.
But they all belong to the same fraternity.
How do you know?
Well, they all wear the same kind of t-shirt.
You know, with these funny letters.
Can you remember what they were? Nah.
Who can read that stuff?
It's all greek to me.
Must fancy themselves as lover boys or something though.
Why do you say that? Because
They all have this symbol on the front of their t-shirts.
A heart with an arrow going through it.
(clock chimes)
(shutter clicks)
Mind telling me what you're doing up there, son?
Just shooting pictures of birds, officer.
For my natural studies class.
Well, I always did like natural studies myself.
I've been calling you.
Hi, eddie.
Listen, I can't talk now.
I'm late for class.
What's the matter?
Didn't you get my messages?
I thought we could go out again.
Eddie, we never went out in the first place.
I thought we did.
We had a date, remember?
It wasn't a date.
I helped you with your homework-- that was all.
I see.
You think you're too good for me, huh?
No, that's not what I meant.
Just leave me alone, okay?
I'm not one of the guys on the football team?
My car's not fancy enough?
Is that it, huh?
I don't want to talk about it.
Please...
Eddie, don't make me have to call for help.
If I report you this time,
You'll be kicked out of school for good.
Micki: Excuse me, could either of you
Help us?
Sure. What is it?
There must be a dozen fraternities around here.
Woman: 15, to be exact,
But only about two or three good ones.
We were looking for the one
That has as its symbol the heart
With the arrow going through it.
That's delta lambda chi.
Are you a member?
Yeah.
Oh, then you can tell us how to get there.
I... I can do better than that.
I could show you where it is.
I'm going that way myself.
So am I. You care for a ride?
It's really not that far.
No, thanks, I think we'll walk.
Sorry if we interrupted anything.
I'm glad you did.
(pop music playing)
(coughs)
Do a good job.
Now, we've got that big party tonight.
Can I come?
Eddie, this party is not for you.
Just because I'm nice enough
To let you wear delta lambda chi t-shirts
Does not mean you're one of us.
Now, you'll have to excuse me, I got a million things to do.
And don't forget to clean up the kitchen.
What are you doing?
Dusting.
This is really nice.
Ugliest mother in the world.
I can't figure out how it helps you out
With chicks, though.
Is that what it's supposed to do?
It's a cupid, stupid.
Oh.
Now clean up my room, will you?
And leave my stuff alone.
So, what... What makes you think
They're just going to hand it over anyway?
Because they removed evidence from the scene of a crime.
So that's it-- we're cops again.
That's your big plan?
Hey, it worked last time, didn't it?
Academia had its advantages.
I thought you dropped out of college.
Just the school part.
The party's not till tonight, folks.
It's amazing what some people will lose around here.
Is it all like this?
No, we haven't had a chance
To clean up the rest of the place yet.
You are invited.
Be here tonight.
May I help you?
Oh, we're looking for a statue.
A statue?
What kind of statue?
Cupid. Oh.
Well, that would be perfect for us.
Look, we're here on official business.
We have reason to believe that one of your brothers
Took it from the scene of a crime.
Hold on a minute.
No, we're gonna look around.
Talk to some of the guys.
Do you have a warrant?
Id?
(sighs)
Not really.
Look, pal, um, we're not cops.
Uh, we need to find the cupid.
It's a personal matter.
Can't help you.
The brothers wouldn't be too thrilled
If I let two strangers wander through their rooms.
Surely, you understand.
You understand?
Micki: Excuse me.
Yeah, what can I do for you?
Your turn to clean up, huh?
Something wrong with that?
No, no, I do it all the time.
Well, some of the time.
We were just wondering if maybe you
Came across a statue in one of the rooms?
A statue? What kind of statue?
Cupid.
Cupid, cupid...
Nope.
Can't say I did.
I like the big guy myself,
What? But I think the second guy is more your type.
Ryan, I'm engaged.
Not tonight.
(crickets chirping)
(frog croaking)
(steam hissing)
(paper rustling)
(sighs)
(laughing)
Even if we do find out who took the statue,
How are we going to make him tell us
What he did with it?
Oh, they're not gonna just tell us.
I mean, it's a criminal offense
To remove evidence from the scene of a crime.
Then we'll just have to search the place.
Now, wait a minute.
I think there may be a better way of doing it than that.
And I think I have just what you need.
¶ ...Out in the rain ¶
¶ just because it's safe with you... ¶
(blender whirring, indistinct conversation and laughter)
No, no, no, no, no, no.
What is that? It's just something
That I whipped up from an old recipe
I had lying around. How old?
14th century, scottish.
Look, you want them to tell you
Where the cupid is, huh?
Well, this is going to do it.
It's an old scottish truth potion.
They'll tell you things you wouldn't believe.
What's in it?
Eye of newt, toe of frog,
And just a tincture of apothecary's pommekiss necoy.
What?
To you guys, sodium pentothal.
(owl hoots)
(heavy breathing)
(click)
(breathing heavily, sniffling)
(crying)
(footsteps)
Eddie, why did you come here?
Didn't we speak about this, this afternoon?
I know, I just thought...
Eddie, please, don't make me have
To have you forcibly evicted.
¶ still, I'm not sure I'm happy yet ¶
¶ does it ever really matter to you? ¶
¶ trouble for the man that you take ¶
¶ every time you walk in the room ¶
¶ couldn't ever be sure of a smile ¶
¶ you were never the same... ¶
(loud rock 'n' roll music playing)
¶ hey, baby... ¶
Can you believe they're actually
Doing that in public?
At least the lights are out.
Any luck?
No, not yet.
¶ there's a gun in my hand ¶
¶ and a bullet right through my heart ¶
Neat slide show, huh?
What happened to your tie?
I got it on campus.
I gotta hand it to you, pops.
You make the best drinks in the world,
Especially that jack marshak special.
Well, thank you.
Uh, let me ask you something.
You strike me as the kind of man
Who is alert and aware of everything
That's going on around him that's of any importance.
Uh, have you seen a statue of a cupid anywhere
In any of the rooms in this place?
Cupid.
Yeah, you know, a...
(whistles)
Ugly mother, that high.
Ah. You've seen it!
More than seen it.
I got it.
¶ do it all night ¶
¶ hey, babe... ¶
It's gone.
Are you sure that's where you put it?
Would I lie to you?
Somebody must have taken it.
But who?
Eddie monroe?
Who?
The guy who cleans up.
Pretty strange guy.
Yeah, him.
Came by my room, and I caught him holding it.
Looking at it pretty strange.
I bet he's got it.
I bet that guy took it. When I get a hold of that guy...
It's too bad you've got to stay and look after your guests.
Um... I do?
Why don't you let us try
To find out where he is for you?
Where did you say he lived again?
Hayes hall. In the basement.
¶ do it all night... ¶
¶ try ¶
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ oh, baby, you try ¶
What's that?
It's a cupid.
Well, it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
(scoffs)
Ugly or not, it's still a symbol of love.
Excuse me, miss.
(sighs)
Got a light?
No!
(high-pitched zap)
¶ ...Ever be sure of a smile ¶
Wait a minute. Maybe I do.
¶ you were never the same way twice ¶
It's all right.
I don't smoke.
¶ I'm falling in love ¶
¶ oh, night after night ¶
Care to go for a ride?
Where to?
Oh, I don't know.
Up about mason creek sounds nice.
¶ try ¶
¶ try... ¶
Oh! Oh!
I can't stand bees.
I know the perfect spot.
Out of the way.
Lots of beautiful flowers, sweet smelling.
Oh, that's good, 'cause, uh, I love flowers.
(crickets chirping)
Can't believe anyone lives like this.
Dracula lives like this.
I mean someone real.
Are you suggesting dracula isn't real?
Careful.
Looks like a cheap burglar alarm.
Though I can't imagine
What anyone would want to steal down here.
How about the statue of a cupid?
Right. You got a point there.
(crickets chirping)
(moaning)
(woman panting)
Eddie: Oh! Oh!
That feels so good.
(both moaning)
(moaning)
(panting)
(both panting)
(woman moans)
I'm sorry I was mean to you before.
Hey, you just didn't know
How terrific I was.
(both laugh)
Now I do.
I love you.
(laughs)
What's that?
Honey.
(laughs)
I love honey.
Gives you energy.
You want some?
(both laugh)
(laughs)
Hey.
(woman laughs)
(laughs)
(sighs)
(laughs)
Where are you going?
Little boy's room.
I'll be right back.
Be sure to lock the doors now.
You wouldn't want the bogeyman to get ya.
(laughs): What are you trying to do, scare me?
It's got to be here some place.
I wonder if she knows about these.
They make a cute couple, don't they?
This eddie's got a serious problem.
Not as serious as hers.
(crickets chirping)
(leaves rustling)
(insects buzzing)
I missed you.
I brought you some company.
(loud buzzing) (screaming)
So long, honey.
(woman shrieking and crying, insects buzzing)
(screams)
Let me... (thudding)
(screaming)
(laughing)
(screaming and crying)
(laughing)
(loud buzzing and crying continue)
(screaming)
Let me out!
Oh, let me... Out!
(screaming)
(screaming stops)
(loud buzzing)
(instrumental rock music plays, loud crowd chatter)
Man: Whoa!
I didn't want to go to law school,
But my father made me after his third divorce.
He said he wasn't gonna keep paying that kind of money
To someone outside the family.
He's a jerk. Jack, jack, come here.
I wish I knew what it was like
To sleep with a woman like that
Instead of just talking about it.
You got more to find than just a statue.
What's wrong? We've got one sick guy.
More than that?
He's dangerous.
This?
Who is this? Ryan: Eddie.
Eddie monroe. And the girl's name is laurie warren.
Does she know?
Well, I tell you what-- I'll go and look for him
While you two look for her.
Have either of you seen laurie warren?
Um, excuse me. Have either of you seen eddie monroe tonight?
No, not since harold kicked him out.
Uh, any idea of where he went?
Well, maybe down to the motel bar
If he couldn't get a drink here.
Give me a break, man.
Shouldn't you be manning the bar?
We're paying you by the hour.
I'll deduct the time.
Well... Hey!
Hey!
(crickets chirping, owl hoots)
(breathing loudly)
(panting)
(breathing loudly and moaning)
Yeah, I remember seeing him earlier.
Uh.
You're the second guy looking for him tonight.
Real popular guy all round.
Oh, what do you mean?
Well, he left with this woman, kind of attractive.
Don't know how he did it, though.
He was a real dork.
Must have some line.
Or a very small arrow.
Uh, did you happen to see which way they were headed?
Looked like to bed.
She was all over him.
I did overhear him say something
About taking a ride to mason creek.
Good man.
Excuse me, have you seen jack?
Yeah, he took off.
You can tell him I'm gonna dock his wages.
Micki: Now what?
Why don't you ditch that guy
And let me show you how I have a good time?
They always end up running away from me.
(crickets chirping)
(leaves rustling)
(owl hooting)
(thudding)
Bowser, it's me.
Pops, I thought you were eddie.
I was going to stomp his face for hot fingering my statue.
You'd better call the police.
I have another bottle of chardonnay,
But it's back at the frat house.
Oh, I'm not going back to that zoo.
I'll wait here for you.
Keep my seat warm.
(crickets chirping)
(sighs)
Nice night.
(sighs)
You scared me.
Sorry. Mind if I sit down?
Yes, I do.
I'm with someone.
Oh.
I see.
That's too bad.
Just go away, eddie.
Please?
I brought you something.
It's a token of my...
Affection for you.
Oh, this is progress.
Can't find laurie or eddie, and now we lost jack.
Where would somebody go to be alone with their boyfriend?
That's eddie.
He's got laurie.
Stay here.
Look after her.
(breathing heavily)
(running footsteps)
(grunting)
(yelling)
(clanging)
(grunts) ow!
(groaning)
Please, you've got to come with us.
So he's taken a few pictures of me.
So what?
He's obsessed with you, he's dangerous.
Eddie? He wouldn't harm a fly.
I've got it; let's get out of here.
Where's eddie?
(labored breathing)
Listen, I'm not going anywhere
Until you explain to me what's going on.
We'll tell you all about it after we get out of here.
We can't wait. Come on, laurie, let's go.
It's serious, laurie. Let me go.
Thank goodness you've found her.
We found everything.
Jack, you look like you've seen a ghost.
(breathing heavily)
It was worse than that.
Just up at mason's creek, we found the body of a girl.
For a bit, I thought it was you.
What were you doing at mason's creek?
That's where eddie was seen last.
You see? You got to come with us, just until we're sure.
All right. I really appreciate...
Everything all right here?
Yes, y-yes, officer. Everything's fine, officer.
What's that?
Uh, nothing, it's just a memento.
Well, the boys over at the delta lambda kai house said
Something just like that had been stolen.
Yeah-- oh, come on, now,
Must have been something looked like that.
No, they described
Something like this exactly--
Ugly little face, bow and arrows.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take this from you until I...
Oh, now, officer... No, you can't do that.
Someone took it from us; it was ours to begin with.
Uh, look, officer, it's a very long and complicated story.
I'm sure it is and I wish I had time to hear it.
Ryan: N-n-no, wait a minute.
What are you going to do with it?
I'm going to take it down to security
Until I can check it out.
If you're telling the truth,
You can pick it up in the morning.
If not, just be glad I'm a nice guy
And letting you get off without any questions.
(stammers)
We'll pick it up first thing tomorrow morning.
(car starts)
Good evening, officer.
Well, well, well.
Doing any more bird- watching lately?
Of course.
I need the extra credit.
Looks like you found our missing cupid.
This does belong to you boys?
It sure does.
We bought it at the swap meet.
(chuckles)
I can't tell you how much we appreciate you finding this.
Forget it, it's all part of my job.
Now, stay out of trouble, okay?
That's a promise.
(chuckles)
Is this where you live?
It's not much, but it's home.
You'll stay upstairs with me.
Doesn't this place give you the creeps?
You get used to it.
Micki? Mm-hmm.
What's all this stuff about the cupid and everything?
It's a long story.
Sometime, you're going to have to explain
To me what's going on.
I will, I promise.
But trust me, you won't believe it.
(sighs)
Well, I think I'll turn in.
It's been a long day.
Yeah, it has been.
See you in the morning.
Good night. Night.
Ryan: I really think we should call the cops on eddie.
Jack: Oh, not until we recover the statue.
Supposing he confesses and implicates it.
Now, that's just what happened with the cupid's last owner,
And then they'd have to hold it for evidence.
Jack's right.
Then we'd be back to square one.
How is she?
She seems all right.
(dial tone)
(dialing)
(phone ringing)
Hi, I couldn't get to a phone until now.
Eddie: I was worried.
I didn't know what happened to you.
I had to go with them
Or else they would have gotten suspicious.
Why don't you come over?
Now?
But it's almost morning already.
So?
We can still spend the rest of the night together.
All right.
Did you get back the cupid?
Yeah.
I'm so glad.
See you soon.
I love you.
(crickets chirping)
(bullfrog croaking)
(buzzing)
(footsteps)
¶ ¶
I've waited so long for this.
(breathing heavily)
Tonight, it'll be just the three of us.
You?
Sorry, we overheard your little phone call with laurie.
Where is she?
Safe, where you can't get at her.
Now give me the cupid.
(pounding on door) you tricked me.
Ryan: Micki, let me in.
Open up! No.
I can't!
This was for me and laurie.
Why? So you could kill her?
I don't want to.
I have to.
It might as well be you.
Just like that other girl tonight.
She made fun of me.
But no more.
She finally said she loved me.
They all will.
Even you.
Ryan: Micki!
Micki, are you all right?
Micki: I'm fine.
No, don't hurt him!
Micki, get away from him!
I love him.
Hear that?
Now, why don't you be a good fella and just run along
And let the little lady and I have some fun?
You leave her alone.
What are you going to do about it?
Eddie... Eddie, put down the axe.
You want it?!
Come and get it!
(screaming)
(coughs)
¶ ¶
(screaming)
What happened?
It's a long story.
(sighs)
Welcome to the world of love.
It's amazing what some people will do for it.
That's it, jack.
Another one for the trophy room.
Never forget
That we're dealing with forces which no one comprehends,
My young friend.
Don't take them lightly.
Well, I hope that that disgusting little statue
Never sees the light of day again.
(chuckles)
Yes, don't even think about it.
Now it's back in the vault.
We have to make very good and sure
That it's never unleashed again.
All these bedeviled things--
If they fall into the wrong hands,
We'll have to do it all over.
And remember that next time...
We may fail.
I really owe you an apology.
You don't owe us anything.
You didn't know what you were doing,
Like most people in love.
I got this really terrific idea.
Why don't you and I go grab some sushi, catch a flick,
And maybe...
We can watch some waves come in on the beach.
No, ryan, I'd love to, but I'm having somebody pick me up.
Ready?
Yeah.
Maybe some other time.
Yeah.
Bye.
Maybe if I just touched her with the arrow...
Ryan.
I'm just looking for a little edge, all right?
What's life without a dream?
You want to go out to dinner?
Dream on.